Simplify the Struggle

Our children go through struggles – daily. Struggles that, as adults, we can’t imagine. We think we can of course because we are older, wiser – we have experienced everything they have experienced and we understand how they feel. This isn’t exactly true though. As we grow, we forget the feelings of youth. We lose our insight for the magical. We lose our ability to see the world with innocence.

I fear that adults expect too much out of children. As parents and teachers we have an expectation for our children to act “appropriately”. Doesn’t that just mean that we expect them to act like us though? I fear that our desire to propagate our children within societal norms doesn’t give them a chance to be well – children. It most likely also defers them from becoming them, I suppose.

This means that, rather than change their perspective to that of the adult world, we need to work harder to change our perspective to that of their world – the way they see it.

Amidst our busy lives we need to slow down and see the magic – that’s just the start though. When we place ourselves in the shoes of our children (metaphorically speaking), it helps us to better guide them, discipline them and connect with them. We can’t see things their way if we don’t try – if we don’t take the extra time to do so.

So, when my students at work or my son does something that simply infuriates me because of its immense stupidity, I would like to try and stop to think about it as if I where them – not me. It’s absolutely amazing how this changes my reaction to the situation! Rather than yell, discipline out of anger, or judge, I find myself able to have an intelligent conversation about what happened and what needs to happen to follow the “incident” up.

Adding to their daily struggle isn’t helpful. Helping them overcome it and learn from it is a much better gift to give.